Aging vs. Wisdom
I really despise the aging process. Physically the toll of birthing 3 kids, years of wear and tear on joints from athletics, the hormonal changes, the slower metabolism, the way gravity starts to work more effectively in certain places, the effects of years of sun showing up in sunspots and wrinkles. Yes- aging is not for the faint of heart, and I am not a fan!
Have you heard the saying “if you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans?”
Well yea, sometimes I wonder if God thinks I’m just a full time professional comedian trying to make a living, because surely he is constantly laughing at me!
I love making plans. It’s built into my DNA. I just naturally operate best when I have structure, order and organization in my life. So, when business, chaos and crazy comes along, it disrupts my peace and knocks me off course. I’m task oriented. I have a hard time just having a day off to relax without feeling like there’s something to do, a task to complete or a box to check off my list.
As a mom of 3, the list never ever ends. Just when I feel like I’m starting to get ahead- something else breaks, someone gets sick, a chore needs completed, the grass continues to grow and continues to need mowed and no matter how many times I buy groceries- they always run out lol!
So I’m aware of how I am, which I’ve learned through therapy is step number 1. Awareness. But then I’ve also learned that if all I have is awareness and stop there- I’m actually not helping myself whatsoever. So what comes after awareness? For me, I simply ask myself, “now what?” Or in other words, “now that I know, what am I going to do about it?”
Awareness isn’t an action word, so if we stop there- nothing changes. We need a verb word- an action word. Which speaks my language because like I mentioned before- I am a doer, a task completer, a go getter. But what happens when the thing that I need to DO goes against everything in me?!
What happens when I know that my action word is to actually stop and actually sit still?!
Well for one, I can ignore it- like I have done so often because I know if I don’t get things done- I’ll feel so overwhelmed and won’t be able to sleep. Or I can listen to my age- or like I prefer to say- I can listen to my wisdom, and actually stop, slow down, sit still, and realize that IT WILL BE OK if my yard doesn’t get mowed, if the dishes are piled high, if there’s baskets of unclean laundry or whatever else it is.
The Bible story of Martha and Mary is exactly what this constant challenge is like. If you don’t know this story, I encourage you to read it. I am a natural Martha, but I want to be more like Mary. A person who cares more about people than she does with getting everything done. Honestly, that’s such a challenge for me!
But…..that’s awareness. That’s growth. That’s wisdom.
What things are you aware of and your next step is the “now what?” Plans aren’t necessarily a bad thing. I love the saying that goes “if you fail to plan, you plan to fail” BUT like anything that’s good- too much of a good thing can become a bad thing. And for me- when I forgo the people in my life in order to “get things done” that becomes a not so good thing.
Choices. We can all make them. This morning I decided to sit still and write this blog instead of working on my to-do list. I don’t regret it. I hope it makes a difference to someone who reads it, but if not- it’s been a lovely reminder for myself.
And if that’s what aging can look like…..even when it comes with all those other not so fun things, I’ll take it.
Blessings,
Tami
