The Lense of Love
Good intentions….wrong assumptions.
How many of us are guilty of this? Seeing someone or something and immediately jumping to conclusions? Even with my own awareness, I still have to walk myself through the process of: Is this real? What are the facts? Have I heard the entire story?
I think maybe it’s why so many people feel isolated, lonely, divided and walk around with that chip on the shoulder feeling.
For example, we see a homeless person, and we assume they might be an addict or that they made poor choices to get themselves there or that they aren’t really “trying” to improve their situation. Or we assume that ALL beggars are going to take the money and go spend it on alcohol or drugs. I get it. I’m one of those people. Only my thought process goes something like: “if they really needed help; there are plenty of local churches, non-profits, govt assistance, homeless shelters-that could help these people if they really wanted it.”
And then a thought hits me like a ton of bricks- what if it was me? What if I lost everything- my kids, my home, my job, my heath-my friends. What if I suffered an injury that required major reconstructive surgery and lead me on the road to addiction because the physical pain was too much to bear? What if in that process I became so numb to reality that the ONLY thing that mattered was taking away the pain, no matter what I had to do to get the relief? We see “criminals” or recovering addicts and we begin to label and lump them together with the masses because yes, the majority do fit a certain mold.
But what I’ve been so convicted of recently is that this way of thinking is so messed up! I think perhaps it’s our human brains trying to make sense of humanity. I’m not sure. But what I do know is that when we fall into this way of thinking: assuming ALL people fit into the mold of what we think to be true; it can lead us towards becoming less empathetic and more judgmental and divisive.
My intentions? I really do believe are always good and pure.
My assumptions? More times than not, usually wrong!
It’s why that old saying goes something like: Never ASSUME…it only makes and ASS out of U and ME!!
I’ve witnessed a lot of division amongst friend groups, churches, workplaces and families all because too often we are so quick to rely on our knee jerk assumptions instead of really seeking to understand.
So could we, next time we find ourselves assuming, pause and ask ourselves those 3 questions? Is this real? What are the facts? Have I heard the entire story?
I’m no expert, not a liscense therapist, or professional counselor- but I have gone through a lot; learned a lot and am really trying to see humanity through the lense of love.
I encourage you today to do the same. It may not change the world, but I can assure you that seeing our broken world through the lense of love will softened your heart and change YOU.
Blessings,
Tami ❤️
P.S. Welcome Back!!!!
Anyone wondering what prompted this blog? Why today and why this topic? Obviously, a LOT has happened since my last entry. I needed to step away from it for a few reasons.
I’ve been SUPER busy!!
Emotionally I needed the space to myself and wasn’t ready to share.
But I’ll share a little about how my morning started out and then why I decided to start this back up.
This morning, Valentines Day marks exactly 2 years since I last saw my mom in person. I didn’t realize it until I woke up and the memory flooded my mind so vividly. So I texted my dad and shared with him the details.
Here’s what I said to him…..
Next, I reached out to my 3 best friends and asked them to pray for me because I was feeling like a total mess!! I needed to get myself together because I don’t want to show up crying to Colt’s game later today because people may assume I’m crying because it’s Valentines Day and I’m single and alone and sad- blah blah blah right? Which is totally not the case! But no one else knows about why this day is really hard for me, UNLESS they know me and know the whole story!! It’s to no one’s fault right? If someone saw me crying today, of course- it makes sense to make those assumptions, and I couldn’t fault that!
Which got me thinking about how we all are probably guilty of jumping to conclusions- well intended, yet wrong.
So, my best friend responded to my text and encouraged me to do something today that honors my mom and keeps her spirit alive.
I immediately was like- oh perfect! My mom loved her grandkids and would be so darn proud of Colt getting to play varsity basketball this year as a sophomore and I’m going to his game later today to watch his team play the number one team in the state! What’s even more special is that my uncle and cousin from my mom’s side of the family are driving down from Ohio to watch him play for the first time ever! I’m also planning to grocery shop and cook food for my kids today and that’s something she LOVED more than life itself- providing for her family❤️
But then I had this unrelenting gut feeling that kept telling me to go journal-get my thoughts on paper-to go write. I haven’t done it for almost 3 years. And so I sat in silence for a while just pondering and it hit me.
My mom was my biggest fan in all things. She believed in me when I didn’t believe in myself. One of the last conversations we had 2 years ago during those last days I saw her in person was her telling me “Tam, you got a story to tell and I know one day you’ll write that book” She encouraged me more than anyone else to keep writing. And while I’m not ready yet for the book, I’ve decided today, what better way to honor her than to write and be willing to share.
I have cried more tears today than I have in a very long time- yet through this process, I have felt so close to my mom and can feel her strength in me and I can’t help but smile!
Dang, how blessed am I to have had a mom like her!!
I’m not sure how often I will be able to write- but I do have a lot I am ready to share!! I am still very busy….but I know it won’t be 3 more years!! Until then….
Much love- and thank you for being on this journey of life with me❤️
