Trust the Process
Right now in my life, every.single.day is a process. Some days I wake up angry and ready to wrestle with the Lord (or people) over injustice, persecution and evil. Yet, come evening, I am so intimately in love with Jesus for the way he pursues after my heart and satisfies my needs. He simply won’t let me stay in those dark places. I am fumbling through issues like forgiveness and trust, while working through continued abuse and co-dependency recovery.
Healing is a journey of ups and downs, highs and lows, mountains and valleys. Without the breakdowns, I wouldn’t have the breakthroughs. But I will chose to go after the healing, day after day. Why? Because it’s worth it. I don’t want to go back to who I used to be.
In the gospel of Matthew, Jesus taught his disciples to pray the Lord’s Prayer by saying “give us this day our daily bread.” For me, this is personal. It means that every.single.day. I am dependent on God to be my source of strength and my source of joy. He doesn’t always give me what I WANT, but in His goodness, He will always give me what I NEED. It’s a choice. It’s dependency. It’s surrender. And it’s daily.
Yet I fail. And I fail again. But with the help of the Holy Spirit, and the support of my family and friends, I am able to pick myself up and continue the fight.
It’s a process.
Trauma can either reveal our true character or it can refine us into the character of the Father’s heart. That’s what I desire. I want to be more like Jesus.
What about you?
Every day we have the choice to move one step closer to where we want to be or we can revert back to old thought processes, toxic patterns or destructive behaviors. Every day we must be intentional to focus on what we know instead of how we feel. We can chose temporary comfort or we can strive for eternal growth.
I want to encourage you to not give up. Every day, make one choice that puts you closer to who you want to be. And when you fall short, give yourself kindness and compassion and get back up. Keep moving forward, one day at a time and trust that God will give you exactly what you need each and every day.
God is faithful and I know I can trust Him. I believe He has good for me. For now, I am being refined by the process into exactly who he needs me to be. So today and everyday, I will chose to trust in His plan for me. And I will also chose to trust the process that He is using to get me there.
Tami
